I want to talk about something that is pretty important to me: Time-Outs.
But not time-outs for your child. For you.
That's right. Mommy time-outs.
This might seem like a foreign concept for you moms with more than one child. "Time out? Really? Don't you have to have time to have a time out?"
I want to argue that this is one of the most important things you can do for your children. I say this as a teacher, who spends time with many children, all day, every day. About once a week, I need to have a night off to drink some wine, read a book, give myself a pedicure, go shopping....something that doesn't involve children. This allows me to collect myself and prepare for the next round of crying/snot/messy art/etc.
I also say this as a mother, and this might be more important. If you're an exhausted mother reading this, read closely.
Learn to take at least 30 minutes every week that is just for you. Not 30 minutes for a meeting at your church. Not 30 minutes to pay bills online alone, without kids climbing all over you, begging for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (yes, I have been there.) Not even 30 minutes talking to your significant other. 30 minutes for just you. Read a book. Take a hot bath. Go shopping at your favorite store, even if you don't buy anything. Call a friend. Take a nap (my favorite choice.)
Let me just tell you, this is important for you....but it might be even more important for your children. I can say that, from personal experience, when I'm exhausted/stressed, I don't react to June in the best way. I'm more on edge, I give her less time to respond to my requests, and I tend to yell more (I hate yelling.) I'm sure I'm not the only mom who is guilty of this. June can tell when I'm feeling this way, and it effects her behavior, too. She is tense, crabby, and clingy. Then we're both in a foul mood, and it just goes downhill from there.
I've been at the grocery store/library/mall/park and witnessed moms who need a time-out. I want to go up to them and say, "Can I watch your kids for 1/2 hour so you can go take a hot shower and troll Facebook in peace?" That might be a little bit creepy, but I really do want to tell them that they need to give themselves a break. A well-deserved break.
Mothers, you have no idea how much your kids need you to take a break for them. They need you to be well-rested so you can run around with them. They need you to catch up on Facebook and the news so when you're at the park, you can play with them instead of being on your phone. They need you to be relaxed so that you don't get caught up in a battle that won't matter and you won't even remember 4 hours from now.
Maybe this seems unattainable for you. Maybe you have a husband/significant other that works full time and you're a stay-at-home mom. Call your friends, even your single friends. Tell them you need them to come over and watch your kids for 30 minutes. In return, make them dinner. Buy them a groupon. Pass along your secret chili recipe that no one but you and Gramma know. I promise you that your friends (with or without kids) will recognize the desperation in your voice. They will rise to the occasion. Some day in the future, they will call you with the same desperation and you will also rise to the occasion for them. Ask your spouse. Ask for 30 minutes a week that is just for you.
You deserve to be well-rested. You deserve to sit on the deck and have a cup of coffee without worrying about getting 2nd degree burns on your hands from toddlers mistaking you for a jungle gym. You deserve to sit in the bathtub without getting a note slid under the door that says "PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR SO I CAN ASK YOU FOR 5 GAZILLION SWEETIES AND TURN YOUR TUB INTO AN ENCHANTED OCEAN." You deserve to troll Facebook without posting an accidental status update of "djaslrueoaijfklsadfj77777777777." You deserve some time for yourself. Your kids deserve you to take some time for yourself.
So go ahead. Give yourself a time-out. You can thank me later.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Raising Daughters.
The other day, June was watching me put on makeup. I normally wear very little makeup. Foundation/powder/cover-up has never agreed with my skin, so normally I wear just a little blush or bronzer and mascara. Watching her watch me, I had flashbacks to when I was younger and I would stare in awe as my mother "put on her face," as she would say. I loved how one tiny little pencil could make her eyes look so blue, and how that red crayon made her lips pucker out like rose petals.
Suddenly, June broke me out of my nostalgia and said, "Mommy, I need makeup."
"Oh, honey, you don't need makeup. You're so beautiful."
"No, I need makeup. Can I have some? Can you put some on me?"
With those 3 sentences, I realized that I am already teaching my daughter what it's like to be a woman, and I'm starting in the worst way - her physical appearance.
I come from a long line of beautiful women. Strong British jawlines, bright blue German eyes, high Czechoslovakian cheekbones and olive skin, almond shaped eyes, and feisty red hair. June was blessed with all this and more. She has Native American blood from her father and the deepest brown eyes, like dark chocolate. Her skin is flawless, her nose the sweetest little button, and she has perfect rosebud lips. She is going to grow into a beautiful young woman, and not just on the outside. Her full name is Juniper, which means resilience. She's also named after 2 of my grandmothers, strong names full of history and purpose. She is funny, intelligent, compassionate, and above all, she is fiercely loving.
So when she says, "Mommy, I need makeup," my natural inclination is to tell her all of the above, which of course she doesn't understand. She just wants to do what I'm doing. She thinks that, if Mommy does it, I should be doing it, too.
Where does that leave me? Do I stop wearing makeup? Do I hide in the bathroom or quickly apply it when she isn't looking? I don't think this is the answer.
I wear makeup because I'm very comfortable in my physical appearance, and I want to accent the features I appreciate. I am at an age where I can look in the mirror and see all the things I like, versus all the things I don't like. Sure, I have days when I grumble at a pimple or two, or my hair just isn't doing what I want it to do, but for the most part, I'm confident in how I look.
So when she says, "Mommy, I need makeup," I take out my chapstick and put some on her lips. Then we look in the mirror together. I say, "June, you're beautiful, just like Mommy, just the way you are." I say this to her often throughout the day. It's starting to become a mantra. I say it to her in the car, or before bedtime, or at the grocery store. I say it because I want her to believe it, but also because I want to believe it, too.
There are so many things in this world that will lead our daughters astray. Victoria's Secret will whisper to them that their breasts aren't buxom enough. Hollywood will shout to them that they aren't talented enough. Fashion shows will scream to them that they aren't skinny enough. Men will make them think twice about what they're wearing, thinking, eating, saying. Why should they also have a conflicting message from their mothers? Tell your daughter that you are beautiful, even when you don't feel at it all. Tell your daughter that you are strong, even when you feel hopeless. If you can confidently claim pride in your outward appearance and your character, your daughter will feel empowered to do the same. I know, because I have a confident mother, and I am a confident woman.
Let me just tell you about my mother. She wears her heart on her sleeve. She taught me that everyone is a soul, worthy of love and recognition. She is compassion incarnate. She is intelligent, even if she didn't go to college. She has an infectious laugh. She is beautiful, inside and out, with or without makeup. I watched her when I was growing up, and I still watch her. I want Juniper to look at me with that kind of adoration, that kind of admiration, and think, 'I'm beautiful like Mommy.'
I know there will be times when the message of the world will drown out my message to her. I hope that those times are few and far between. I plan to write it on the walls of her room, in every card she ever receives, and on her heart. Every event I help her prepare for, I will reassure her that she is beautiful and capable of anything. Before every date, I will hug her and whisper, "You're beautiful, just like Mommy." On her wedding day, as I help her put on her dress, I hope she turns to me and whispers, "Mom, I'm beautiful, just like you." And when she has her own daughter, my prayer is that the first thing she will say is, "You're so beautiful, just like Mommy."
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
Suddenly, June broke me out of my nostalgia and said, "Mommy, I need makeup."
"Oh, honey, you don't need makeup. You're so beautiful."
"No, I need makeup. Can I have some? Can you put some on me?"
With those 3 sentences, I realized that I am already teaching my daughter what it's like to be a woman, and I'm starting in the worst way - her physical appearance.
I come from a long line of beautiful women. Strong British jawlines, bright blue German eyes, high Czechoslovakian cheekbones and olive skin, almond shaped eyes, and feisty red hair. June was blessed with all this and more. She has Native American blood from her father and the deepest brown eyes, like dark chocolate. Her skin is flawless, her nose the sweetest little button, and she has perfect rosebud lips. She is going to grow into a beautiful young woman, and not just on the outside. Her full name is Juniper, which means resilience. She's also named after 2 of my grandmothers, strong names full of history and purpose. She is funny, intelligent, compassionate, and above all, she is fiercely loving.
So when she says, "Mommy, I need makeup," my natural inclination is to tell her all of the above, which of course she doesn't understand. She just wants to do what I'm doing. She thinks that, if Mommy does it, I should be doing it, too.
Where does that leave me? Do I stop wearing makeup? Do I hide in the bathroom or quickly apply it when she isn't looking? I don't think this is the answer.
I wear makeup because I'm very comfortable in my physical appearance, and I want to accent the features I appreciate. I am at an age where I can look in the mirror and see all the things I like, versus all the things I don't like. Sure, I have days when I grumble at a pimple or two, or my hair just isn't doing what I want it to do, but for the most part, I'm confident in how I look.
So when she says, "Mommy, I need makeup," I take out my chapstick and put some on her lips. Then we look in the mirror together. I say, "June, you're beautiful, just like Mommy, just the way you are." I say this to her often throughout the day. It's starting to become a mantra. I say it to her in the car, or before bedtime, or at the grocery store. I say it because I want her to believe it, but also because I want to believe it, too.
There are so many things in this world that will lead our daughters astray. Victoria's Secret will whisper to them that their breasts aren't buxom enough. Hollywood will shout to them that they aren't talented enough. Fashion shows will scream to them that they aren't skinny enough. Men will make them think twice about what they're wearing, thinking, eating, saying. Why should they also have a conflicting message from their mothers? Tell your daughter that you are beautiful, even when you don't feel at it all. Tell your daughter that you are strong, even when you feel hopeless. If you can confidently claim pride in your outward appearance and your character, your daughter will feel empowered to do the same. I know, because I have a confident mother, and I am a confident woman.
Let me just tell you about my mother. She wears her heart on her sleeve. She taught me that everyone is a soul, worthy of love and recognition. She is compassion incarnate. She is intelligent, even if she didn't go to college. She has an infectious laugh. She is beautiful, inside and out, with or without makeup. I watched her when I was growing up, and I still watch her. I want Juniper to look at me with that kind of adoration, that kind of admiration, and think, 'I'm beautiful like Mommy.'
I know there will be times when the message of the world will drown out my message to her. I hope that those times are few and far between. I plan to write it on the walls of her room, in every card she ever receives, and on her heart. Every event I help her prepare for, I will reassure her that she is beautiful and capable of anything. Before every date, I will hug her and whisper, "You're beautiful, just like Mommy." On her wedding day, as I help her put on her dress, I hope she turns to me and whispers, "Mom, I'm beautiful, just like you." And when she has her own daughter, my prayer is that the first thing she will say is, "You're so beautiful, just like Mommy."
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Children, or How I've Made a Career out of Playing.
I'm a Preschool Director. I'm also a Preschool teacher. I've been working with the tiny humans for almost 9 years. Believe it or not, starting and running my very own Preschool is something that I have daydreams about. I love being around kids. I love their snotty noses and their cheeks and their sparkly eyes and the way they can't pronounce their 'r's or their 'th's and the way they don't care if your hair is dirty or your socks don't match. I love the way they hug you and the way they listen when you talk as if they have never heard anything quite as magical as what you've just said. I love their innocence and their earnestness and their purity and their perfect smiles.
I love all kids, because I believe all children have something to teach us.
Now, most moms give me this strange look when I tell them that I love teaching every single day. And not just teaching. Teaching toddlers and preschoolers. Let me just tell you, that is not always a pleasant age. So when I testify (hallelujah) that I absolutely love teaching and I adore children, I get this somewhat suspicious look. It's as if other moms are thinking, "This one is batty. I can't even handle my own kids half the time. How can she say that she loves hanging out with other peoples' kids all day??"
I have a somewhat ambiguous answer for this and then I have a very pointed answer.
Children are amazing. They see things in a way that adults simply CANNOT see them. They see a leaf as a vessel for fairies to fly from one tree to another, unnoticed. They see a rock as a toad in disguise, hiding from the evil snake king. They see glitter as magic dust. They see a popsicle stick as a princess wand or a sword. Their imaginations are totally unbridled and it's beautiful. They are completely immune to hatred or greed or sadness or guilt or shame or disappointment or bigotry or resentment. They are delightful little creatures with the biggest hearts, the brightest brains, and the best hugs imaginable.
Here is the more pointed answer, which I have spent years studying and why I have dedicated the rest of my life to working with kids and working within the child care/Preschool system to ensure that ALL CHILDREN receive quality education from an early age.
Kids have reached exponential brain development by age 3. By age 5, they've pretty much developed their personalities, and by age 8, they have basically become the tiny versions of their future selves. So much incredible development takes place between birth and 8, it's unbelievable. Scientists and researchers and educators haven't even made all the connections yet. There are things about behavior in children that we are still learning. Children are still very much a mystery, and why they do the things that they do can be chalked up to two things: nature and nurture. Nature is what they're born with: genetics, traumatic birth, family history, etc. Nurture is what's taught to them; the values instilled on them, discipline, language, integrity, etc.
There is a very, very small window in which we get the opportunity to teach children all about the world, including how they should treat themselves and others. Many people believe that if we do this wrong, we do irreversible damage. Telling a child repeatedly that she is stupid is going to yield one result: that child will believe that she is stupid. However, telling a child repeatedly that she is a beautiful, worthwhile creature will yield one result: that child will believe that she can change the world.
I teach because I know that, even in small doses, the things a child learns in school teaches him or her that what they do matters. By telling a child that I like his art project will instill a faith in himself and his abilities, and he will believe that he can do great things. By snuggling a child while reading a book and asking her to tell me what she thinks is happening, I am teaching her that what she thinks matters, and that she can change the story if she wants to, if she believes in herself.
I hope that, by teaching, I am telling children that they matter. I hope that's the case, because in 20 or 30 years, if those same children feel like they matter, they will turn around and help others feel like they matter, too. They will use their feelings of being worthwhile to help someone else feel worthwhile, too. If I can do this for even one child, then I have succeeded.
I am in the business of building children. Not raising children - building them. Building their character, building their confidence, building their strengths, building their future.
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
I love all kids, because I believe all children have something to teach us.
Now, most moms give me this strange look when I tell them that I love teaching every single day. And not just teaching. Teaching toddlers and preschoolers. Let me just tell you, that is not always a pleasant age. So when I testify (hallelujah) that I absolutely love teaching and I adore children, I get this somewhat suspicious look. It's as if other moms are thinking, "This one is batty. I can't even handle my own kids half the time. How can she say that she loves hanging out with other peoples' kids all day??"
I have a somewhat ambiguous answer for this and then I have a very pointed answer.
Children are amazing. They see things in a way that adults simply CANNOT see them. They see a leaf as a vessel for fairies to fly from one tree to another, unnoticed. They see a rock as a toad in disguise, hiding from the evil snake king. They see glitter as magic dust. They see a popsicle stick as a princess wand or a sword. Their imaginations are totally unbridled and it's beautiful. They are completely immune to hatred or greed or sadness or guilt or shame or disappointment or bigotry or resentment. They are delightful little creatures with the biggest hearts, the brightest brains, and the best hugs imaginable.
Here is the more pointed answer, which I have spent years studying and why I have dedicated the rest of my life to working with kids and working within the child care/Preschool system to ensure that ALL CHILDREN receive quality education from an early age.
Kids have reached exponential brain development by age 3. By age 5, they've pretty much developed their personalities, and by age 8, they have basically become the tiny versions of their future selves. So much incredible development takes place between birth and 8, it's unbelievable. Scientists and researchers and educators haven't even made all the connections yet. There are things about behavior in children that we are still learning. Children are still very much a mystery, and why they do the things that they do can be chalked up to two things: nature and nurture. Nature is what they're born with: genetics, traumatic birth, family history, etc. Nurture is what's taught to them; the values instilled on them, discipline, language, integrity, etc.
There is a very, very small window in which we get the opportunity to teach children all about the world, including how they should treat themselves and others. Many people believe that if we do this wrong, we do irreversible damage. Telling a child repeatedly that she is stupid is going to yield one result: that child will believe that she is stupid. However, telling a child repeatedly that she is a beautiful, worthwhile creature will yield one result: that child will believe that she can change the world.
I teach because I know that, even in small doses, the things a child learns in school teaches him or her that what they do matters. By telling a child that I like his art project will instill a faith in himself and his abilities, and he will believe that he can do great things. By snuggling a child while reading a book and asking her to tell me what she thinks is happening, I am teaching her that what she thinks matters, and that she can change the story if she wants to, if she believes in herself.
I hope that, by teaching, I am telling children that they matter. I hope that's the case, because in 20 or 30 years, if those same children feel like they matter, they will turn around and help others feel like they matter, too. They will use their feelings of being worthwhile to help someone else feel worthwhile, too. If I can do this for even one child, then I have succeeded.
I am in the business of building children. Not raising children - building them. Building their character, building their confidence, building their strengths, building their future.
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
"Here, sweetie, let Mommy do it for you."
I read an incredible quote in Parenting magazine the other day and it's been rolling around in my head the past few days. Part of me wants to keep it and treasure it and use it to make myself a perfect mother (HA) but the rest of me wants to share it. So I will!
"Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child."
Read it over a few times. Let it get into your brain. If you're a mom, and you're reading this when your kids are around, wait until they are napping/outside playing/asleep so you can fully absorb these words.
I think this is something every parent needs to hear, at least once a day.
Every day, I struggle with the urge to prepare the path for my child in the mundane tasks. I pick out her clothes. I usually dress her, not because she can't dress herself, but because it's faster if I do it. When she's eating breakfast, if she's not "doing it right" I will "help" her. Read: Do it for her. Sometimes this goes as far as putting stickers on her art for her or coming up with exactly what she is going to imagine while playing. Am I proud of this? No. I am constantly reminding myself to let her do it, let her do it, let her do it.
I often hear parents saying, "Here, sweetie, let Mommy/Daddy do it for you." Sometimes help is legitimately needed. An object that's just too heavy, a climber that looked a little easier from the ground, or putting on shoes in the middle of a busy park can pose a problem. However, most of the time, it's O.K. to let your child struggle with something. It's O.K. to let her cry while putting her shoes on because she "can't do it." (My answer to this is always, "Don't say 'I can't,' say, 'I'll try.'") It's O.K. to let your kid put his sweater on backwards. It's O.K. to let the twins carry the watering can and spill more of it on them than on the plants.
All of this is O.K. for 2 main reasons.
1. Our kids need to learn to do things for themselves.
2. Our kids need to learn that their parents aren't going to do everything for them.
Let me tell you, I am just as guilty of this as any parent. I want to make life easy for my daughter. I don't want her to experience failure because I know how much it aches to look at myself and see what I've done wrong. I don't want her to get hurt. I don't want her to get dirty. I don't want her to take longer than the amount of time that I've allotted for that particular task. All of this is WRONG.
Our children need to experience failure. They need to fall while they're running down the sidewalk. They need to learn that, not only can they pick themselves up again, they can do it gracefully. They can sit and cry about it or get back up and play some more. If they need help, they can ask for it. Knowing when and how to ask for help is an essential part of social-emotional development, and if that's stunted, we're raising a generation of users.
As much as I want to protect JuneBug from life, I know that I can't, because that means protecting her from failure and that's not possible. FAIL, daughter of mine. Fail the test. Get in a fender-bender. Break up with the best guy you ever dated. Make a financial mistake. Do all of those things, sweet one, because I did. And I turned out fine. I know what I'm capable of. I know what I mess I can make, but I also know how well I can clean it up and make it right.
I want my daughter to learn how to make it right again. All by her big-girl-self. As silly as it seems, letting her pick out her own clothes and get dressed backward and spill oatmeal all over herself and take 1/2 hour to put on her shoes will equip her to do that. So let your kid fail. It might be painful, but guess what? By letting them fail, we're preparing them for the path of life, and not the other way around.
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug.
"Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child."
Read it over a few times. Let it get into your brain. If you're a mom, and you're reading this when your kids are around, wait until they are napping/outside playing/asleep so you can fully absorb these words.
I think this is something every parent needs to hear, at least once a day.
Every day, I struggle with the urge to prepare the path for my child in the mundane tasks. I pick out her clothes. I usually dress her, not because she can't dress herself, but because it's faster if I do it. When she's eating breakfast, if she's not "doing it right" I will "help" her. Read: Do it for her. Sometimes this goes as far as putting stickers on her art for her or coming up with exactly what she is going to imagine while playing. Am I proud of this? No. I am constantly reminding myself to let her do it, let her do it, let her do it.
I often hear parents saying, "Here, sweetie, let Mommy/Daddy do it for you." Sometimes help is legitimately needed. An object that's just too heavy, a climber that looked a little easier from the ground, or putting on shoes in the middle of a busy park can pose a problem. However, most of the time, it's O.K. to let your child struggle with something. It's O.K. to let her cry while putting her shoes on because she "can't do it." (My answer to this is always, "Don't say 'I can't,' say, 'I'll try.'") It's O.K. to let your kid put his sweater on backwards. It's O.K. to let the twins carry the watering can and spill more of it on them than on the plants.
All of this is O.K. for 2 main reasons.
1. Our kids need to learn to do things for themselves.
2. Our kids need to learn that their parents aren't going to do everything for them.
Let me tell you, I am just as guilty of this as any parent. I want to make life easy for my daughter. I don't want her to experience failure because I know how much it aches to look at myself and see what I've done wrong. I don't want her to get hurt. I don't want her to get dirty. I don't want her to take longer than the amount of time that I've allotted for that particular task. All of this is WRONG.
Our children need to experience failure. They need to fall while they're running down the sidewalk. They need to learn that, not only can they pick themselves up again, they can do it gracefully. They can sit and cry about it or get back up and play some more. If they need help, they can ask for it. Knowing when and how to ask for help is an essential part of social-emotional development, and if that's stunted, we're raising a generation of users.
As much as I want to protect JuneBug from life, I know that I can't, because that means protecting her from failure and that's not possible. FAIL, daughter of mine. Fail the test. Get in a fender-bender. Break up with the best guy you ever dated. Make a financial mistake. Do all of those things, sweet one, because I did. And I turned out fine. I know what I'm capable of. I know what I mess I can make, but I also know how well I can clean it up and make it right.
I want my daughter to learn how to make it right again. All by her big-girl-self. As silly as it seems, letting her pick out her own clothes and get dressed backward and spill oatmeal all over herself and take 1/2 hour to put on her shoes will equip her to do that. So let your kid fail. It might be painful, but guess what? By letting them fail, we're preparing them for the path of life, and not the other way around.
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Zucchini Ricotta Bites [yum]
So, sometimes I cook. Sometimes I use a recipe, but most of the time, I just throw stuff together and think good thoughts about it and it turns out O.K. Tonight, I had some ingredients, and I tried that website where you enter what you have and it gives you recipes. That thing sucks. Sorry if you love it. It doesn't include more obscure things like ricotta cheese, which I really wanted to use. So I searched for ricotta cheese recipes. I found this one that used fried eggplant with ricotta cheese, but it was more of a casserole. I didn't have eggplant, but I did have zucchini. The wheels started churning, as they often do when food is involved, and I got down to business. I'm sharing this with you because THIS TURNED OUT AMAZING AND I WANT EVERYONE TO ENJOY IT. Unless zucchini's not your thing. Then just take a 'no-thank-you-bite' and move on.
You will need:
1 medium/large zucchini, thinly sliced.
1 small container of ricotta cheese. Soft mozzarella would also probably be enjoyable and quite tasty.
At least 2 large tomatoes, diced. (I had 1 med and 1 small tomato and it wasn't enough.)
Shredded mozzarella.
Italian seasoning or fresh basil & oregano.
About a cup of bread crumbs.
3-4 eggs, beaten.
About 1/2 cup of flour.
Preheat your oven to 350.
After you slice the zucchini, set it aside and prepare the breading. Beat the eggs in one bowl, put the flour in another bowl and the bread crumbs in a shallow dish for dipping. Prepare a pan with olive oil. Once it's heated, take your zucchini, push it around in the flour, dip in the eggs, and then coat with bread crumbs. Put it in the pan. Let it get brown and crispy (take 3-4 minutes each side.) Put them on a cookie sheet. Spread about a teaspoon of ricotta on each slice. Scoop some tomatoes on top of the ricotta. Sprinkle with mozzarella and Italian seasoning/basil/oregano. Bake for 5 or 6 minutes or until the cheese is melted.
ENJOOOOOOOOY!
If you actually make this, and like it, please let me know! I love feedback almost as much as I love ice cream. Almost.
You will need:
1 medium/large zucchini, thinly sliced.
1 small container of ricotta cheese. Soft mozzarella would also probably be enjoyable and quite tasty.
At least 2 large tomatoes, diced. (I had 1 med and 1 small tomato and it wasn't enough.)
Shredded mozzarella.
Italian seasoning or fresh basil & oregano.
About a cup of bread crumbs.
3-4 eggs, beaten.
About 1/2 cup of flour.
Preheat your oven to 350.
After you slice the zucchini, set it aside and prepare the breading. Beat the eggs in one bowl, put the flour in another bowl and the bread crumbs in a shallow dish for dipping. Prepare a pan with olive oil. Once it's heated, take your zucchini, push it around in the flour, dip in the eggs, and then coat with bread crumbs. Put it in the pan. Let it get brown and crispy (take 3-4 minutes each side.) Put them on a cookie sheet. Spread about a teaspoon of ricotta on each slice. Scoop some tomatoes on top of the ricotta. Sprinkle with mozzarella and Italian seasoning/basil/oregano. Bake for 5 or 6 minutes or until the cheese is melted.
ENJOOOOOOOOY!
If you actually make this, and like it, please let me know! I love feedback almost as much as I love ice cream. Almost.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Wedding vs Marriage.
Hello friends. First of all, excitement! I have reached and surpassed 500 page views! Thank you! I feel loved, and a little less obscure.
On to the things that are heavy.
[Disclaimer: I am divorced. I am not an expert on marriage. It terrifies me. These are just the thoughts I have collected after witnessing many beautiful weddings become beautiful marriages.]
Tonight, I witnessed the wedding of a childhood friend, who I have watched grow up. She is a beautiful creature, and she just has the biggest heart and the most creative mind. Her wedding was lovely. It was perfectly her. I don't know her (now)husband, but he seems quite genuine and is absolutely in love with her. The setting was wonderful and the energy was amazing and God was there. The space was completely filled with God's presence, and it was written on everyone's face and etched on everyone's heart.
Based on their wedding, their energies toward each other, the support from their family and friends, and the look on their faces when they spoke their vows to each other, I truly believe they will have a wonderful marriage. They have been together a long time and they seem to have a jive that fits. Their beautiful wedding will lead to a beautiful marriage.
That's not always the case.
My ex-husband and I had a beautiful wedding. We were surrounded by people who loved us, everything looked amazing, and I do believe that God was there. Was he trying to weave a new story in our hearts? Maybe. Was I letting him? No. I already knew that our beautiful wedding wasn't going to lead to a beautiful marriage, because I was allowing the wedding to be more important than the marriage. I was blinded by the wedding. I hadn't even crossed over into marriage territory, because I knew it was doomed.
Whew. There's that.
I think that, more often than not, people bank on weddings, both figuratively and literally. They imagine that, if they have a beautiful wedding with lots of friends, food, and fun, they will have a beautiful marriage. If there is something lacking in the relationship, they create this big, gorgeous band aid, made of ribbons and lace and frosting and cards and well-wishes. "That'll do the trick," they say. "People will say, 'What a beautiful wedding!' and we can feel good about this huge mess, because a beautiful wedding means a beautiful marriage!"
This is not entirely incorrect.
In every relationship, there is bound to be some glaring flaw/problem/disagreement/issue. Maybe you and your significant other come back to it every now and then and it's never really resolved, just discussed. Maybe you had a huge fight about it and it just slid under the surface, like a sliver that you can't see but that hurts tremendously. Maybe you don't fight about anything, because you never scratch the surface of the "hard things" like politics, religion, children, etc.
None of these things are all bad. It's good to have things you disagree about, because it means that you're human and you have your own opinions and thoughts and you're willing to SHARE THEM with your S.O. (significant other). It's good to disagree and fight, because sometimes hearing the opinion of someone else causes you re-think how you were looking at an issue in the first place. It's good to not have a "perfect" relationship, because we all know that's bound to boil over into a hot mess someday, probably at the most inconvenient of times.
What IS bad is allowing yourself to ignore these flaws/problems/disagreements/issues and cover them with a big, beautiful, wedding. What you're screaming to the world is, "OUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T DOING SO HOT BUT IF WE LOOK GOOD TO OTHER PEOPLE WE SHOULD BE OK!"
These were exactly my thoughts on the day I got married. Look where it got me.
On the other hand, sometimes a beautiful wedding does lead to a beautiful marriage, like the one I attended tonight. I'm sure there have been disagreements, big upsets, arguments and fights and slammed doors and tears.That's where the beauty is. Once you see someone flawed, broken, and imperfect, you begin to love them more. You see the pain they feel and you begin to love that pain because it's made your soon-to-be-spouse exactly who he or she is. This is when your love begins to mimic God's love for us.
God saw our brokenness. He saw our tears and our under-the-skin slivers and what a hot mess we've made of ourselves, and he looks on that with compassion. Some people would use another person's pain to their own advantage, or to victimize them, make them feel unworthy, unloved, etc. God doesn't do that. He looks on us with mercy, not pity, and then applies his own band-aid. This one isn't made of lace and frosting and cards and bells and whistles. It's made of grace.
The beautiful wedding becomes a beautiful marriage when the two people can look at each other's flaws and imperfections with mercy and not pity, compassion and not vindication. When our love resembles God's love, that is when the beautiful marriage begins.
This is one of the things that I love to discuss, because you can never talk too much about what a good marriage looks like, so if you have thoughts to add or even contradictions to make, please feel free to do so. Good discussions lead to new ideas.
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
On to the things that are heavy.
[Disclaimer: I am divorced. I am not an expert on marriage. It terrifies me. These are just the thoughts I have collected after witnessing many beautiful weddings become beautiful marriages.]
Tonight, I witnessed the wedding of a childhood friend, who I have watched grow up. She is a beautiful creature, and she just has the biggest heart and the most creative mind. Her wedding was lovely. It was perfectly her. I don't know her (now)husband, but he seems quite genuine and is absolutely in love with her. The setting was wonderful and the energy was amazing and God was there. The space was completely filled with God's presence, and it was written on everyone's face and etched on everyone's heart.
Based on their wedding, their energies toward each other, the support from their family and friends, and the look on their faces when they spoke their vows to each other, I truly believe they will have a wonderful marriage. They have been together a long time and they seem to have a jive that fits. Their beautiful wedding will lead to a beautiful marriage.
That's not always the case.
My ex-husband and I had a beautiful wedding. We were surrounded by people who loved us, everything looked amazing, and I do believe that God was there. Was he trying to weave a new story in our hearts? Maybe. Was I letting him? No. I already knew that our beautiful wedding wasn't going to lead to a beautiful marriage, because I was allowing the wedding to be more important than the marriage. I was blinded by the wedding. I hadn't even crossed over into marriage territory, because I knew it was doomed.
Whew. There's that.
I think that, more often than not, people bank on weddings, both figuratively and literally. They imagine that, if they have a beautiful wedding with lots of friends, food, and fun, they will have a beautiful marriage. If there is something lacking in the relationship, they create this big, gorgeous band aid, made of ribbons and lace and frosting and cards and well-wishes. "That'll do the trick," they say. "People will say, 'What a beautiful wedding!' and we can feel good about this huge mess, because a beautiful wedding means a beautiful marriage!"
This is not entirely incorrect.
In every relationship, there is bound to be some glaring flaw/problem/disagreement/issue. Maybe you and your significant other come back to it every now and then and it's never really resolved, just discussed. Maybe you had a huge fight about it and it just slid under the surface, like a sliver that you can't see but that hurts tremendously. Maybe you don't fight about anything, because you never scratch the surface of the "hard things" like politics, religion, children, etc.
None of these things are all bad. It's good to have things you disagree about, because it means that you're human and you have your own opinions and thoughts and you're willing to SHARE THEM with your S.O. (significant other). It's good to disagree and fight, because sometimes hearing the opinion of someone else causes you re-think how you were looking at an issue in the first place. It's good to not have a "perfect" relationship, because we all know that's bound to boil over into a hot mess someday, probably at the most inconvenient of times.
What IS bad is allowing yourself to ignore these flaws/problems/disagreements/issues and cover them with a big, beautiful, wedding. What you're screaming to the world is, "OUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T DOING SO HOT BUT IF WE LOOK GOOD TO OTHER PEOPLE WE SHOULD BE OK!"
These were exactly my thoughts on the day I got married. Look where it got me.
On the other hand, sometimes a beautiful wedding does lead to a beautiful marriage, like the one I attended tonight. I'm sure there have been disagreements, big upsets, arguments and fights and slammed doors and tears.That's where the beauty is. Once you see someone flawed, broken, and imperfect, you begin to love them more. You see the pain they feel and you begin to love that pain because it's made your soon-to-be-spouse exactly who he or she is. This is when your love begins to mimic God's love for us.
God saw our brokenness. He saw our tears and our under-the-skin slivers and what a hot mess we've made of ourselves, and he looks on that with compassion. Some people would use another person's pain to their own advantage, or to victimize them, make them feel unworthy, unloved, etc. God doesn't do that. He looks on us with mercy, not pity, and then applies his own band-aid. This one isn't made of lace and frosting and cards and bells and whistles. It's made of grace.
The beautiful wedding becomes a beautiful marriage when the two people can look at each other's flaws and imperfections with mercy and not pity, compassion and not vindication. When our love resembles God's love, that is when the beautiful marriage begins.
This is one of the things that I love to discuss, because you can never talk too much about what a good marriage looks like, so if you have thoughts to add or even contradictions to make, please feel free to do so. Good discussions lead to new ideas.
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Anticipation.
Short one tonight.
"Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be open. For whoever asks, receives. Whoever seeks, finds. To the one who knocks, the door will be open."
Matthew 7:7
This verse was REAL for me today. In a tangible way that I simply don't have words for.
Grace, my friends, is a real, live creature. Living and breathing, in your world and mine.
I'll leave you with this delightful voice, these beautiful words, that are ringing so true in my life right now it hurts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKosVfAEUPE
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
"Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be open. For whoever asks, receives. Whoever seeks, finds. To the one who knocks, the door will be open."
Matthew 7:7
This verse was REAL for me today. In a tangible way that I simply don't have words for.
Grace, my friends, is a real, live creature. Living and breathing, in your world and mine.
I'll leave you with this delightful voice, these beautiful words, that are ringing so true in my life right now it hurts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKosVfAEUPE
Love,
Brooke + JuneBug
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)